Achieve S Rank on every level.
Complete every level.
Achieve B Rank or higher on every level.
Achieve A Rank or higher on every level.
Have a Total Completion Time of under 38:00:00
Be able to turn on those big puppy dog eyes.
Find some strange rectangular friends.
Unlock every level.
Blue and Orange have died 1,500 times between them.
Stretch your concentration further than before.
Look, they aren't portals okay?
Find out that not everything's bolted down.
Collect Time Bonuses 150 times.
Find a faster mode of travel.
Find the pew pews and the shooty bits.
Blue and Orange have died 250 times between them.
Complete any level in under 00:02:50
Find out how to turn back time.
Collect Time Bonuses 25 times.
Blue and Orange have died 50 times between them.
Learn something (very) important.