You've tested all the characters, now pick one and play the damn game!
You killed 100 monsters in one game... so what?
You've killed 1000 mosters in one game! You're not such a nonce after all.
You killed 9000 monsters in one game? Who's the monster now...
You died by lightning... Ben Franklin would be proud!
You died from poisoning but no prince is going to kiss your ugly mug.
You scream 'smells like roast pork' before dying in flaming agony.
You died with no loot... LOSER!!!!!!
You ran away from a fight with a champion. Better than wetting yourself, I suppose...
Your health is over 2000 making you feel immortal - although you're not.
Your mana is over 500 because you never learned how to make a critical attack.
You killed D.E.A.T.H. so from now on we'll just call you Kenny. You b*****d.
You found a secret area... aren't you clever?
You were rch before, but clearing that treasure room made you FILTHY RICH!
You're ranked as a Lord now. Don't let it go to your head... you're still nothing special.
You're a Knight, but not the round table type. More kind of squarish...
You have been ranked Baronet. Don't get excited, no-one's ever heard of a famous baronet.
You've been given a Barony. Sounds nasty but it's not catching thankfully.
You're a Viscount, but not the chocolatey type.
You can't count to 10, but now you're a Count. Oh, the irony...
You attain the rank of Marquess, but which are you? Queensbury or de Sade? or Both?
You have been named Viceroy. You are a seasoned battler or a nymphalid butterfly. Choose.
You've reached the rank of Prince. Please don't start signing everything as ☥.
You are now a Prime Elector. Nope, I don't know what that means either.
Looks like you have the right to call yourself a Duke. But we'll call you Marion instead.
As an Archduke you are a ripe target for assassination, especially if your name is Franz.
You are a Grand Duke, which is the same as an Archduke, only less likely to die horribly.
As King of the Skein you have the absolute right to stop for tea and biscuits at anytime.
You are Emperor of all you survey... which isn't much to be honest, but it sounds way cool.
Hell awaits those 50 champion monsters that you sent south of heaven in a reign of blood.
You've smashed 50 generators... Those anger managment classes aren't working.
250 generators destroyed. You really dislike those things, huh?
One thousand generators??? Okay, you're a badass. You have no life, but you're a badass.
You've looted 20 tombs... What do you mean "Just call me Lara"?
Controlling 200 sheep is a lot different than controlling 200 Reapers.
One hour as a single character! You've been killing time killing monsters in a killer game...
You survived a room after level 5 without being hit... Elementary, my dear Watson?
You stacked three or more spells. Start looking for a castle on Arcanus.
You've been brought back to life. This is the resurrection, yeah, yeah, of the good times!
You spawned ten or more rats making you the Rat King... Or is that the Pied Piper?
You have completed the Bestiary thanks to your slaughter in the name of science.
Finding all the spells in the Skein makes you a scholar, but not a gentleman.
Actually, not really, but you have used each characters special move 50 times.
Equip an armor.
You must be Russell Crowe's illegitimate love child to have survived 8 Arenas in one game.
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