SmasterPt

Not A Moron

Prove you're actually alive by successfully starting the game.

To War!

Complete Basic Training.

Down And Dirty

Complete Mission 1.

A Jolly Jaunt

Complete Mission 2.

Who You Gonna Call?

Complete Mission 3.

Clowning Around

Complete Mission 4.

Ashes To Ashes

Complete Mission 5.

God Is On Your Side...

Complete Mission 6.

...Just Kidding! He's Not

Complete Mission 7.

Inner Demons

Complete Mission 8.

Murder the Magnate

Complete Mission 9.

Trench Foot

Complete Mission 1, Badass difficulty.

Master Of My Own Fete

Complete Mission 2, Badass difficulty.

A Ghost Of A Chance

Complete Mission 3, Badass difficulty.

Crashing The Castle

Complete Mission 4, Badass difficulty.

A Grave Mistake

Complete Mission 5, Badass difficulty.

Heil Mary, Full Of Grace

Complete Mission 6, Badass difficulty.

You're Locked In Here With Me!

Complete Mission 7, Badass difficulty.

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

Complete Mission 8, Badass difficulty.

Ozymandias

Complete Mission 9, Badass difficulty.

To Be Continued...

Complete Call of Judy.

Or Was It Judith?

Complete Call of Judy, Badass difficulty.

Slayer Of Sponge

Destroy a totally innocent cake.

Decturion

Deliver the sweet release of death to ten totally justifiable targets.

Centurion.

Deliver the sweet release of death to one hundred somewhat justifiable targets.

Milturion.

Deliver the sweet release of death to one thousand definitely unjustifiable targets.

Splash!

Kill at least 3 enemies with one grenade or rocket explosion.

KABOOM!

Blow up.

Get Mounted

Complete your first mounted gun section.

Hole Puncher

Complete every mounted gun section to become the ultimate Stationary Killer.

Do You Know Who I Am?

Listen to an entire Kenneth Announcement.

Baptised

Sponge. That. Sinner!

Live Dangerously

Ride the Ferris Wheel.

Useless Information...

Find your first piece of Intel.

...Or Surprising Insights?

Find every piece of Intel in Call of Judy.

Ice Cold

Destroy every ice cream van.

Duck, Duck, Mousse

Run over all the innocents on the Ghost Train.

Lingerer

Listen to every tannoy announcement at the Fete.

I Need No Announcement

Destroy every tannoy at the Fete.

Thus Spake Kenneth

Listen to every tannoy announcement in the evening-time at the Fete.

He Shoots, He Scores!

Improve your K:D by killing three enemies with 1 bullet.

The Gospel According To Murdoch

Listen to all tannoy announcements in the Musoleum.

Silence Is Golden

Destroy all the tannoys in Musoleum.

Nothing To Hide

Investigate the Surveillance system.

Piece Of Pie

Discover the "legitimate" sources of the Bum.

Patience Of A Saint

Satisfy your OCD in the Filing room.

Sunday Schooling

Kill 666 Nuns on the Sabbath.

A Single Kenneth Suddenly Silenced

Destroy every tannoy in the evening-time at the Fete.

We've Been Here Before...

Play every different level in Call of Judy, then start any one level again.

PC Master Race

Complete any mission in Call of Judy with keyboard and mouse.

Pure-Bred Console Player

Complete any mission in Call of Judy with a controller.

Oh Boy, A Friend!

Play split-screen.

Sorry, No Refunds

Collateral Damage

Told You So

Tomb Raider

The Church's Dirty Little Secret

Future Shock One

These Aren't Just Zombies...These Are NotZombies

What Is Dead May Never Die

If You Want Something Done Right...

There But For The Grace Of God...

Joseph's Favourite Son

Feelin' Lucky, Punk?

Gazzer's Revenge

Open Wide

Offshore Account

Well I'll Be Damned

0WN3D

PWN3D

The People's Republic Of NotGames

Complete any Mission in Call of Judy while censorship is in effect.

NotBad

Complete Call of Judy, Gamer difficulty.

Doing What's Necessary

Put Denis Down.