Get fired!
Clean any map adequately
Get the Employee of the Month reward for your office
Spill 100 dirty buckets
Incinerate 2000 items
Mop up 10,000 splats
Get eaten
Pick up 800 casings
Pick up 1000 pieces of trash
Speedrun a map with at least %25 par time to spare
Track over 20,000 footprints
Blow up a fellow worker with the help of an ominously bright-red explosive charge
Receive a total of 35 helping hands from the Slosh-O-Matic
Suffer the wrath of the Bin machine 75 times
Restock a total of 50 medkits over your cleaning career by punching out of levels with medkits
Use the Sniffer for a total of 2 hours
Throw 100 items into sand traps
Fry 500 items with the plasma welder
Complete Athena's Wrath Level
Complete Caduceus Level
Complete Cryogenesis Level
Complete Unearthly Excavation Level
Complete Hydroponic Hell Level
Complete Evil Science Level
Complete Paintenance Level
Complete Waste Disposal Level
Complete Unrefinery Level
Complete All major Official Levels
Take a lit flare from a fellow Janitor
Complete Gravity Drive Level
Tame the uncontrollable fury of the Big Banger by incinerating it
Cleanup your own personal Office by removing any Trash, Viscera and Blood; excluding trophies, then leave
Receive 12 Employee of the Month awards
Steal 30 or more Personal Identification Devices (P.I.Ds) from cleaned levels and take them to your office
Take the Big Banger Supernova out of Unearthly Excavation and into another work-site and turn it on
Turn off the Big Banger while it's playing loudly(keep your music volume up too) in zero-gravity during a Solo game
Transfer a Goo-Jar to another work-site and infect something
Collect a head from each species in cleaned levels and take them to your office
Complete Revolutionary Robotics Level
Complete Overgrowth Level
Find Bob
Unlock Bob's super secret secret stash room
Find all the unique and hidden collectibles and return them to your office
Find all the hidden painted eggs and return them to your office
Get consumed by an inter-dimensional crack in space-time
Collect the chainsaw, boomstick, cursed hand and the evil book and return them to your office
Collect the mask and machete and return them to your office
Collect the clawed glove and return it to your office
Collect the white mask and butcher knife and return them to your office
Collect the axe and return it to your office
Collect the ring and return it to your office
Clean the entire House of Horror level
Destroy the Bad Banger
Destroy 200 items in the woodchipper
Completely clean all mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Completely clean Santa's Workshop without breaking any Christmas items and clock off
Completely clean all mess and destroy every item in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Prove your incompetence by leaving a worse mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Collect Santa's shotgun and bring it back to your office
Collect the iconic reindeer nose and bring it back to your office
Collect the different Rooks Keep figurines and take them back to your office
Collect the different Ballistic Weapons toys and bring them back to your office
Requisition a new replacement janitor through the use of TNT
Collect elf heads and bring them back to your office, you freakin' psycho!
Incinerate 50 Santa hats, the symbol of everything you hate
Build a stack of 10 stools
Bring about the sad meeting of Ice-Cold Banger and fire
Complete Frostbite Level
Complete Incubation Emergency Level
Completely clean the entire Shadow Warrior temple level
Collect the two million dollars of cold hard cash from the Shadow Warrior level all at once and bring it back to your office
Complete Uprinsing Level
Complete Core Sample Level
Complete Pestilent Penitentiary Level
Complete Penumbra Level
Find all the unique Collectibles in the Vulcan Affair and return them to your office
Clean the entire Vulcan Affair level
Bring about the unfortunate meeting of Double-Oh Banger and Shark
Go for a swim with Sharks
Feed the ever hungry Sharks 500 items they can either devour or destroy
Foolishly activate the Death Ray
Lock another player inside a holding cell where they belong
Get turned into mist by an orbital beam weapon
Using an orbital beam weapon, destroy the symbol of your most hated overlord; cats!
Allow the Banger to ascend to its rightful place among the heavens through the use of an orbital beam weapon
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