Like nowhere else, the citizens of this country can now walk the streets safely, and sleep sound in their beds knowing that crime is practically consigned to the history books. Excellent!
Using a combination of prudence and economic ability, you have managed to keep the country's finances in the black for five whole years. Congratulations!
They say some politicians are political survivors, but you really define the word with the way you keep dodging those terrorist plots. Here, have a shiny medal!
We may not all look alike or sound alike, but under your leadership, we all now feel equal with our fellow man/woman/other, and isn't that the most important thing?
Congratulations! You have managed to steer the ship of state for six years without once having to resort to firing a minister or enduring the embarrassment of a resignation.
You have shown exceptional skill in managing the economic affairs of the nation. The people owe their wealth and prosperity to your remarkable economic genius!
Congratulations comrade! You have remade this country in the very image of a socialist paradise. The proletariat are down-trodden no longer. Excellent work!
You truly have made this country a green and pleasant land, free from the horrors of pollution, waste and damage to the climate. We and the planet thank you!
Our country has shown itself to be on the cutting edge of technology and we are now held up as an example of innovation, skill and science. Good job!
You have done fantastic work in the service of God, and restored our country's rightful status as one Kingdom under God, with a pious and devoted population.
Congratulations! You have all-but-banished the thought of any other political parties from the minds of the electorate, reducing other politicians to mere has-beens.
It seems nobody has been a stronger champion of the power of the state than you. Our citizens are now under firmer control than ever before. Good work.
We can now truly hold up this country as the prime example of a free-market system, where everything and everyone is for sale at the right price. Bravo!
Nobody cheers as loud for you as those people you have raised out of poverty, in your triumphant mission to rid the curse of poverty from our country. Well done.
Oh how we look upon those countries with debt problems and laugh, now we have you as our astute and dare I say 'prudent' leader. The bank balance looks just great!
We may be members of a small club, but it's an important one. We are proudly one of the few nations that are taking our climate change obligations seriously.
Have you seen long queues of jobless citizens queuing for work? Neither have I, nor will I, in this land of full employment! And we owe it all to you and your work!
You have now been returned to power by the people so many times, we are starting to wonder if it's worth putting anyone else's name on the ballot papers! Nice work!
You certainly have the stamina for politics, you have been working away in your office for so long now that it's almost time to start the next days work!
Few leaders grasp the complexities of global events the way you do. You seem able to look at any country or situation, no matter where, and deduce the solutions to their problems.
They say that nothing really matters as long as you ,or in this case, your entire country, has their health. And our medical report has never been so positive!
Few leaders have that special ability to be all things to all people, but somehow you have pulled off the trick of being popular with almost everyone. Nice work!
Success! You have been democratically elected for another term. Somehow you have managed to win over the electorate to your political views. Congratulations!
Amazing victory! This is nothing short of an electoral landslide, which shows that you have fundamentally won the political argument in the minds of the electorate!
You have managed not only to win the election, but take a majority of the entire electorate with you, leaving no doubt that you are this country's legitimate leader.
A narrow victory. By just squeaking past the point needed for re-election you have managed to retain power, but are widely seen as a divisive leader.
Religion has been all but wiped from our country, leaving a society that believes in science, technology and evidence, rather than faith in religious text.
You have managed to preside over an unpallalled period of high educational achievement and turned this nation into the worlds intelligentsia. Congratulations!
Everywhere our people go, we have them under observation. We see and hear everything. Remember citizen, you have nothing to fear…
You have managed to second-guess your policy decisions so many times that the electorate are accusing you of being the 'flip-flop' politician. Perhaps you should be more decisive in future?
Who says equality is a bad thing? You have driven a wedge the size of a football stadium between the haves and the have nots. Congratulations.
It is a sort of modern miracle that we have managed to create a society so poorly educated and yet somehow it still functions.
Who needs cities and technology anyway, when you can have the majority of your citizens out in the fields doing an honest days toil?
Forget the illuminati, say hello to the inebriati! The whole country enjoys a drink now and then, or in fact...all the time!
Other countries may look at narcotics as a threat, but congratulations you have seen them for what they are...a very lucrative source of government income.
A wise man once said that society can never have enough people in uniform carrying guns. And it looks like you took those words very seriously indeed.
There really is no room for friends at the top of government, and your constant dismissal of ministers shows you take that attitude to heart.
Sometimes its not how much the economy is growing, but how steadily it ticks alonmg that makes all the difference. Congratulations on overseeing such stability.
There are people who claim to be patriots, then there are patriots, and then there are true patriots like yourself. All stand to salute our glorious flag!
Ok, so we have built a country that is massively dependent on oil, some may see that as bad, but its definitely an achievement of some sort.
They say its important to stick to what you do best, and looking at our economy, we grow food and export it better than anything else. Bananas for Lunch!
It takes a special kind of dull leadership technique to energize as few of the electorate as you do. Congratulations on driving apathy to record levels!
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