Blair

Three birds, one explosion

Kill at least 3 enemies with one explosion

Barrely saw it coming

Kill an enemy using a barrel

Mumbo Combo

Get a 10x combo

Secret Achievement

Knife to meat you

Stick a knife in to an enemy

Flying pan

Kill enemy by ricocheting bullet off frying pan

Jester

Juggle basketball 10 times without it touching anything

Table service

Flip 10 tables

Shamona

Dodge 1000 bullets

Yes you can

Kick enemies 100 times

They probably deserved it

Kill 500 enemies

Murderous tendencies

Kill 1000 enemies

Questionable moral

Kill 2000 enemies

Make an entrance

Jump through 10 windows

Gold star for you

Get an S-rating

Wow

Get S-rating on 10 levels

Brush your shoulders off

Get S-rating on 25 levels

S for Sensei

Get S-rating on all levels

Numb fingers

Complete a level without firing a weapon

One for the road

Finish chapter "Old Town"

Leap of faith

Finish chapter "District Null"

What just happened?

Finish chapter "Pedro's World"

Train of thought

Finish chapter "The Sewer"

Connection lost

Finish chapter "The Internet"

Face the truth

Finish the game

Comb-o-ver

Get a 20x combo

Ah, Combon now!

Get a 50x combo

Well done

Kick a frying pan in to the face of an enemy

Sk8, don't h8

Kick a skateboard in to the face of an enemy

Think fast

Kick a Gas Canister in to the face of an enemy