Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Survived Wednesday.
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Survived Tuesday.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Gained your first dog helper.
Survived Monday.
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Kicked open a door.
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Totaled 30 cars.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Sucked down your own piss.
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Wore all three outfits.
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Put out someone that's on fire.
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Survived Friday.
Finished all seven days.
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Read the newspaper every day.
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Killed over 1,000 people.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Rescued your loyal companion.
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Reunited with an old friend.
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Reunited with an old enemy.
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Reunited with an old flame.
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Survived Saturday.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Survived Thursday.
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
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