Return the overdue book to the Librarian
Gain access to the girl's locker room.
Ask every person you possibly can out to prom
Stand in one location without moving for 30 minutes
Distract Patty by making Starsky & Hutch get into a fight
Distract Patty by making Starsky & Hutch fall in love
Give a condom to a boy in need
Find a nightmarish costume
Use the retinal scanner in the Secret Lab
Have a conversation with Shark Dad.
Insult every object you can with your "Got 'ems"
Listen to the Bush's tragic story
Post all three of Sawyer's flyers
Give Hobo Moe a new home
Deliver all the supplies for making fine toilet wine
Give Mark Hufferman a new marker
Catch Mr. Murphy in his S&M outfit
Convince someone that you're God
Learn about 30 different library book titles
Get arrested
Get access to your locker
Open every Kickstarter Backer locker in the school
Complete Part 1
Perform an aerial escape to avoid the bullies
Find every Jesus
Help the Janitor by ruining Beverly's date
Reveal hidden lasers in the Secret Lab
Forge a signature on the permission slip
Get rid of the wasp nest
Alter your permanent record
Sneak into Golden Haze
Here you go! You deserve it! Everyone deserves it!
Fix Grandma's printer
Listen to all of Grandpa TieGuy's stories
Collect every costume
Trick Patty into believing Ms. Puffs stole her lunch, then witness the beatdown
Mail out Gertie's scathing letter
Get a free pizza from Rod's Thick Pizza
Retrieve the rope in the school gymnasium
Give Drug Dealer some scar cream
Deliver Grandma's racy photos to Bernie
Complete Part 1 in less than 30 minutes without saving
Find both Ted Bear locations in Part 1
Stare at a bag blowing in the wind
Deliver porn to Stevie Shades
Complete all optional sidequests
Return the signed prom letter to Crystal
Get a pre-order for Lemon Abe's Lemon-Flavored "Lemon" Type Drink
Look at every Permanent Record in the Principal's Office
Remain completely nude for at least 10 minutes.
Find Señor Cleanfist.
Acquire the lab technician's eyeball
Listen to every one of Bernie's "Prune Swirl" insults
Get credit card signature from Mothercluck'n Chick'n customer
Learn about 10 different ice cream flavors from Dr. Scoops
