Wii Sports (Nintendo Wii)

Now we come to bowling. Bowling is the most realistically recreated of all the games, where the twisting in your hand as you release the ball puts a corresponding spin on the ball. How hard you swing the ball determines its speed and accuracy. You can also move your avatar to change your aim. That’s the controls. Simple and great. It even shows you a quick replay of each shot and there’s nothing more satisfying than watching those pins bounce into each other. No complaints where bowling is concerned (except that my Mom beat me by 200 points, but that’s not Nintendo’s fault).

The last game is Boxing, and sadly, it’s the bastard fifth child of Wii Sports. Boxing had potential to be a great game, but it feels tacked on and incomplete, much unlike the other games. The biggest problem is that it doesn’t read your movements precisely at all. The basic idea is to hold your controller (with nunchuck attachment) in closed fists and then punch and jab and uppercut and roundhouse to your heart’s content, whilst your avatar does the same on screen. However, while all those moves are in there, getting the game to recognize that you’re performing them is not worth the effort it takes, especially when your opponent is beating the hell out of you and you’re trying to focus on dodging and blocking as well as swinging and aiming. Dodging works well, fortunately, and is much easier to control (you tip your controllers to one side or the other). Blocking, however, has the same problem as the fighting (you position your gloves to intercept the attacks). Mainly, the game seems to have trouble figuring out exactly where your gloves are. So gameplay quickly disintegrates into jabbing your controllers at the screen over and over and hoping that something connects. When playing against another human, this isn’t so bad, because both of you are having the same control issues and the game becomes a mixture of chance and timing. But when up against the higher level of computer players, the game is extremely difficult. For those who remember “Punch Out!” the difficulty will seem frustratingly familiar. Finally, I still am not quite sure how to stand up after you’ve been knocked out. I think you’re supposed to wave the controllers around and hit the A button a lot, but the instruction book doesn’t say, so it’s anyone’s guess.

The Extra Stuff
The other two modes available in Wii Sports are training and a fitness program. Training mode

has you performing in pre-set scenarios that teach you the controls of the games, and also train abilities specific to each game. Each game has three scenarios. They’re also nice to play for fun and your Mii is awarded medals if you do good enough.

The fitness program can be played once a day per Mii, and it basically lines you up with three random training missions in rapid succession (it’s more tiring than it sounds, or maybe I’m just lazy). The fun part is that you then get an “age rating” based off how you did. The first time I did it, I was estimated to be 76 years old. But I’m glad to report I’ve now brought it down to 32, which is within ten years of my actual age. I feel the burn, baby, oh yeah!

So I don’t have any friends...
That’s okay. I don’t either. It’s the plight of being a video game player. I won’t lie to you. The Wii definitely shines as a group system, even more so at present, where every game but Zelda is multi player. But it doesn’t mean you won’t have fun by yourself. People golf and bowl by themselves. They even get pantomimed in movies like the Big Lewbowski and Happy Gilmore. So just think. One day there could be a movie about you, playing your Wii by itself, and all the innuendo that that implies.

Honestly, though, Wii Sports is still fun. The computer difficulty is based off your recorded skill level for the Mii you’re using, so things are always winnable, but also challenging. It’s a great game to pick up any time you feel like moving around and having fun.

Why Play?
Believe me, I thought Wii Sports was gonna be a one time sort’ve thing. Something to show off the Wii’s capabilities that you pop in your system once and never again. Or something to impress the old folks with. But it surprised me with its versatility and fun. It may not be a glory house of graphics, but uh, were you expecting it to be? The graphics are simple and fun, like everything else in this game. Except maybe boxing. But hey, for something that’s free, I’m willing to let that one slide.